Easier to Run
by Maze of the Heart
Summary: Kurt muses. I like Song fics! Very much so like pickle and cheese


"Easier To Run"  
  
It's easier to run  
  
Replacing this pain with something numb  
  
It's so much easier to go  
  
Than face all this pain here all alone  
  
I ran away today. I just couldn't stay there anymore. I liked being with all those people, but it's too hard without her loving me back. I know she likes me as a friend, but she'd never date a big blue guy.  
  
Something has been taken from deep inside of me  
  
The secret I've kept locked away no one can ever see  
  
Wounds so deep they never show they never go away  
  
Like moving pictures in my head for years and years they've played  
  
It's been, I dunno about two years since I came to Bayville. And I play every moment with her in my head. I can't stop it. I cry, I laugh and I feel so utterly alone. God why have you left me, a humble man listening to your word all alone?  
  
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)  
  
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)  
  
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)  
  
(If I could take all the shame to the grave I would)  
  
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)  
  
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)  
  
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)  
  
(I would take all my shame to the grave)  
  
I blame myself for letting her leave me. I mean it is my fault that she was never mine, I never asked her to be with me, like I should have. A good Catholic I once was, but now I have started to stray, only to be with her. And be with her I never will.  
  
[Chorus]  
  
It's easier to run  
  
Replacing this pain with something numb  
  
It's so much easier to go  
  
Than face all this pain here all alone  
  
I have to keep moving, and moving fast, the professor might find me. And that is the last think I want. Because then, then I will have to watch her be happy, happy without me while I am miserable.  
  
Sometimes I remember the darkness of my past  
  
Bringing back these memories I wish I didn't have  
  
Sometimes I think of letting go and never looking back  
  
And never moving forward so there'd never be a past  
  
I often think of letting it all go, finding someone who can stop me from remembering, like that Ashley girl. But I doubt I'd ever let her go from my mind. Oh dear sweet Kitty.  
  
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)  
  
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)  
  
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)  
  
(If I could take all the shame to the grave I would)  
  
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)  
  
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)  
  
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)  
  
(I would take all my shame to the grave)  
  
I want to die, I just want to die. Let someone find me and kill me, please God have mercy on my damned soul! I beg of you kill me already and let me reside in Heaven with you.  
  
Just washing it aside  
  
All of the helplessness inside  
  
Pretending I don't feel misplaced  
  
It's so much simpler than change  
  
I used to walk in the rain, hoping that it would clean away my pain and hurt. I used to think it did, after the rain I'd feel as though something was lifted from my shoulders, when that was not the case.  
  
[Chorus]  
  
It's easier to run  
  
Replacing this pain with something numb  
  
It's so much easier to go  
  
Than face all this pain here all alone  
  
I think I might just go here. There is a river neat here, one big enough to drown me and carry me off into the sea. And then were will I be? In Heaven with my Father? Or in Hell with Satan?  
  
It's easier to run  
  
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)  
  
(Retrace every wrong move that I made)  
  
It's easier to go  
  
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)  
  
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)  
  
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)  
  
(I would take all my shame to the grave)  
  
All I have to do is jump. There is no denying myself the right and joy of jumping in the deep blue water. The river will consume me and I shall be no more. 


End file.
